Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize