you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize