Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
