You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
