i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
being pregnant is like rehab
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Randomize
