dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
