..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize