haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i already hear my dad disowning me
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
