would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
