my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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