i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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