I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
