My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
the raccoons are back...
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