as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
