what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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