If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
