the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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