i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize