I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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