yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
