Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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