she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
