somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize