I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
