I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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