its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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