the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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