i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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