"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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