Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
