I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Of course I have a pirate flag
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
