He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
