great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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