Please, let me fuck your mom
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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