At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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