He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
and you fell through a lawn chair
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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