I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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