my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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