I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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