Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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