Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
