Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
