How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
How external is "for external use only"?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
