Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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