The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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