absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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