I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
