He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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