She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
