Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
