I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
