She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
