if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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