Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I would fuck him just for his dog
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
