i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
