talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
