please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
