Having a random hookup so left but love u
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
