You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
