): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Send help, water and tortillas.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
