Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
