Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
3 2 1 whiskey
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
