my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
