real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
