: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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