New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
