you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize