Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
