you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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