I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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