He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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