It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
