I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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