): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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