i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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