walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
