I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
