Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
