and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
