i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
