"it" just moved
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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