Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
