She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
